zebmitch

Clumber Park is a place.

It is a place in England, in Nottinghamshire, near Worksop to be more accurate.

To (attempt valiantly) to fly a kite there is a Good Experience. To eat an ice cream there is pleasant. To ride a bicycle around the park, specifically in foresty areas consisting of root-covered ground and hills, is leg aching and muchly of hard work, but can be seen to have its advantages. Principal of these is teaching you to not begrudge the lack of hills in Cambridge.

Oh, and that i won't be physically exerting self in bright sun for a long time yet, if I can help it.

I have a shiny new thing! ( Here it be! )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap1co5ZZHYE

All hail the Soviets and their zombie dog heads!

...k, erm....I'm not gonna be too coherent, for the surprise still lingers, but exam results, and ditto smowton 's post, except for me. (and no pubs for me, :| )

Small, cheap, baby computers that do whats needed (without being made by Jobs-spawn-of-Filth).

I want one, or many, I dunno but at least one. *please*

They'd be quiet, and small, and easy to carry (unlike any other computer in existence?) and not have an annoying lap-top screen or be made by crapple (ah, I see now).

And only £80 (minus delivery)

Sign This Now:
http://www.thepeoplespetition.org.uk/
If you dont then I will be forced to disect your babies!!

today my computer decided it would be fun to prevent me from signing into MS messenger with my normal account. It does however still work with every other alt i have tried, despite insisting that the network was down, therefore i have given up and decided to move accounts so if there is any strange addage in the near future that is why...

{zebmitch@hotmail.co.uk]

Have returned from our little excursion to that place often confused with S. eye_lids, thebiomechanoid, a plane enthusiast who shall here be unamed and I did some stuff (briefly):

'Slept' – this will be dealt with below in the oh-so-humorous anecdotes section
ATE – lots of meat type food, highlights being the chinese buffet and the curry and chips for breakfast
Cinema – the Inside Man, pretty good, a heist film that is best described as thoughtful, witty and clever rather than the more usual 'swish' – worth a gander
Gallery of the paintin – many ones of jesus/mary as usual, some pretty fun statues, and a fair smattering of ones that make you go 'Ooh...Err'
Museum – this had carp in a pool in the large central open area, they nibble things put in the water. This nugget of information was discovered with the aid of thebiomechanoid and some dangly clothing fastenings. Of notable other interest was a big hall of dead things in stuffed phase, in particular a cool, massive, black horned auroch skull.
Zoo – here there {not} be lions nor tigers! we saw lots of empty enclosures as many animals were too cold. the penguins were cool (sorry bad puns are wrong) and there was a mentally defective polar bear that just swims in small circles all the time. Ape/monkey types were much in evidence and were brill, if a little prone to pulling thier lips at us.
HMY Britania – just like a stately home, but on a boat attached to a shopping centre. yay!
The castle of extortionate prices yet very cheap coke – it was windy, we were on an exposed hill thing, twas cold. Inside parts however were quite fun

Interspersed liberally throughout was the imbibation of much caffeinated liquids.

Anecdote Section (more of a how we cheated a hotel section really)
sleeping was covered by the expediant measure of fitting four peoople into a two person room, two to a bed.
this lead to some 'interesting' nights, which is all I shall say on the matter (unless cornered when drunk, but luckily this is t'internet so I am safe)

http://hubblesite.org/newscenter/newsdesk/archive/releases/2006/01/image/a+warn

Lookit, a 18000x18000 pixel image, mmm 385.09MB, me wanty!

http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

Favourites are:
* Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
* Witness: "No."
* Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
* Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
* Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
* Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

and
* Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
* Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

I have had an epiphany! An enlightenment on the road to my personal Damascus.

While contemplating the ways of the world I was stuck, as if by a higher power, with the sheer mass of wickedness and suffering in the world, and avowed unto myself and the Lord to go forth and spread His word.

To this end I am Baptised and Confirmed, and henceforth shall be known as Peter-Paul, after those two most worthy renamed ones.

When angered, Love, when afraid, give Peace.

Blessed are you all among God's children.

Go with the Love and Forgiveness of our Lord

Just a shorty, I NEED to spread this, it will help quell my urges to perform myself:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3851430460146324700

for those wishing to try this at home (sillies!)
http://www.tesco.com/electrical/product.aspx?R=8073084&bci=162|Microwaves
its almost worth getting one to destroy...

Despite my great unwillingness to start thus (and even read this), I am moved to comment-

The French are an absurd peoples: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4838880.stm
Note particularly the key paragraph
"The law allows employers to end job contracts for under-26s at any time during a two-year trial period without having to offer an explanation or give prior warning."

Not that this is a necessarily bad law (indeed my knee-jerk reflex is distinctly recalcitrant here), but that France, Proud and Noble King of the employee fallating labour law, has PASSED this legislation and is steadfastly resisting its withdrawl. Though perhaps it is one more means to prevent people from working, the 35 hour week not cutting the Dijon as it were.

Je désespère

Why so glum, chum? Won't ye give an old man a smile and a skipdoodle to pass the days.

Bugger off ye slimey old wheezemonger! I've no wish to get up and shut y'up but by heck as like ah will!

Have a toffee young Melvin, they put hairs on your chest, an' more places beside, ha ha ha! <wheeze, cough, spit, etc>

That does it you warty sheep-licking slapfart, there'll be no sitting down for you this week...meet Booty and his steel-type ouchy friend! <grunt>

<oumph, crumple, etc> Why so glum, chum? Does floor want a toffee?


No Dear, go back to bed, its too late for all this sillygubbins.

Phil is the Biggest Cunt in the Entire Universe, excepting that one on his head.

If anyone can stand his existence for more than 2.0035 s i will personally fellate their stool, luckily though the kid is a prize arse with shit for brains, and curly pube encrusted shit for hair.

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! [please note: i HATE phil]

NEVER EVER, Unless you have severe life defeciency urges, EVER PLAY SCRABBLE with the fuck-brain whale rapist.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

please wont someone kill him, please...

..you know you want to...


and if you dont know YOU want to I know that you do.....


...go on, PLEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE

Well, that first title lasted a long time.
I liked it, but it was much too long-winded, so i shall leave it a little memorial:

"nihil agere nihil habere nihil esse
atqui optimus sum"

Roughly translates as:

"to do nothing, to have nothing, to be nothing,
and yet i am the best"

Testing...Testing...I know you can hear me earthmen.